Getting to Worthy! How to shift Patterns that Limit Self Esteem
Are you always trying to please others at your own expense? Rarely setting aside time for yourself? Not following your dreams because you're not sure you can achieve them? Do you feel boxed-in and unworthy of having real happiness?
Using some self-guided techniques from Relational Clearing, and some determination it is possible to clear away the patterns which have put us into this sometimes dark, uncomfortable place of low self-esteem and on the path to a more fulfilling happier life.
In the Relational Clearing Model a person is connected energetically to people (parents, ancestors, siblings, friends, etc) events, and sometimes even places and things. Patterns relating to self-esteem can begin when we have a situation or event that makes us feel as though we are not valued - we may feel disrespect, humiliation, and sometimes blame for situations or events. It can also come from being part of a group that has low self-esteem. These energies affect everyone differently - leaving some with feelings of great unworthiness, and others less affected. Feelings of low self-esteem tend to compound over time as everyday events are perceived through the filter of unworthiness.
It is important to realize that the key to the change is within you - it is your perception that is at the centre - and it can be changed. Here are two self-help techniques to shift perception that we would like to share. Keep in mind that results may take some patience, and clear intention is important here.
In a quiet place where you will not be disturbed - Close your eyes, and after you have had some time to settle your thoughts, ask the question - "What people or events have been important in shaping how I view myself and my sense of self-worth? ". Sit with it for a while patiently until something comes forward. When it does, consider: What emotions does it bring up for you?. What negative conclusions did you form about yourself as a result? Once you have observed these responses, realize that these negative conclusions are no longer accurate or relevant, and they can be released. Just gently let these conclusions and their associated emotions drift away, . Take your time to complete your meditation, and if you feel it is appropriate, go through the process again.
Be patient. These issues come up for clearing when the time is right, so be prepared to work this into your routine so that you can repeat the meditation when you feel it is needed - when you're ready - don't rush it. It can happen that nothing comes up during the meditation initially. Don't fret about and try to force it - the time is just not right yet. It is our nature to want instant results, but patience is your friend here.
Replace Self-Judgement with Positive Assessment
It is also in our nature to be critical of ourselves - no kidding - right? It is so common that we can look at our work and judge it or ourselves very harshly and when we do we are usually lowering our self esteem level bit-by-bit. Critical judgement of ourselves is at the heart of many people's low self esteem. Perception is king here - and negative self-judgement is reinforcing that heavy pattern that keeps growing over time. The secret to reversing this pattern is to begin catching yourself in the midst of self-judgement and start replacing this with a more positive assessment of the situation and yourself.
This approach will take consistent practice and mindfulness of your emotions. Consciously observe your emotions and notice when you are feeling badly about yourself. When this happens just take a moment to look a bit deeper into the situation. Question the basis for your negative judgement. Is it really true?, or are you making some negative assumptions that are self-defeating? Once you have questioned the basis, consider if there is a more positive assessment of the situation. By truly allowing for a more positive assessment, your self-esteem level will be increased.
Through positive assessment, you will be building a more beneficial view of yourself, and developing an energy which will create even more positive outcomes. As a wonderful benefit which helps this all along - when you are interacting with others your positivity is instantly felt by them (there is a lot of scientific research on this), and your ideas and work will be better received. Thanks to a small change in your perception large changes can happen in your life.
An example: A worker is in a company where business is not strong and layoffs are imminent - rumours are building tension every day. The worker is under great stress and she is working hard to ensure that she is not chosen for layoffs. At first, she interprets her manager's lack of communication with her as a signal that she has been chosen for layoffs, and is feeling very low as a result. Then she starts to do a reality check. Does she really know the causes of the manager's behaviour? Might there be other reasons for his actions? As she begins to think this through, she realizes in fact that all of her projects are on time and on budget, while those of her co-workers are not. She comes to a more positive assessment that the reason for her manager's lack of communication was that he was focusing on other problem areas, which she was not a part of. This new assessment of the situation changed her outlook and feelings of self-esteem completely, enabling her to be more positive and productive at work. And in the end, her manager confirmed she was doing good work, and would be one of the few employees who was not being laid off.
In our Relational Clearing sessions we help this process along by addressing the heaviness associated with self-esteem issues and clearing the energetic patterns that underly them. This can be done in an individual session or in a group setting.
We have a Web based group energy session for clearing Self-Esteem issues planned for July 27th to assist people in shifting the energies relating to Self-esteem. The Session is free - all you have to do is connect to the session via computer/tablet to experience it. . If you have registered, even if you can't make it, you will gain access to the recorded video and can repeat the meditations when you need to. We have heard from many people about the important shifts that can happen in these online sessions.